Losing Everything

I can’t write what I want to say

I’ve never been able to

Choke back the tears

Smile and wave

Because someone has to be brave

Someone has to be perfect

Someone can’t break

Ignore any pain you feel

Because if you waste one second

You’ll be replaced

Because of standards and exceptions

Scared to say no, scared to lose it all

Cause I can’t do both and I’ll continue to fall

I’m wasting my life

And no one knows

I’m dying inside

And no one knows

I cry every night

And no one knows

I’m struggling to survive

And no one will ever know

Cause I hurt people

before they hurt me

And I’m always planning the end

Of my twisted tragedy

A book no one will care to read

I wouldn’t either

But I don’t mean to hurt you

I just want you to hate me

So no one has to mourn me when I leave

But fate still has made me cross paths

With people who have changed my life

And people who have saved me

Even if they don’t know it yet

And everyday I’m scared of hurting them

Like I’ve hurt everyone before

So start writing words with the tears that stain your pages

Cause you ran out of ink a long time ago

Even if no one reads it

And the only reason you are writing is to avoid the memories of the girl you lost

But they’ll always catch up to you

Because you can’t do it alone

And you’ll never be both

And under all this armor

Behind all these walls

You are really only a kid

Scared of losing it all